You just got a message. You open the thread. You read the message. You reply. You close the thread. It's over.
Wait.
A thought occurs. You open the thread again. You read the message again. You re-read the message. You think a bit. It's not much. At times it might just be an "Okay"
You tell yourself not to think so much. You close the thread.
A thought occurs again. You read the message again. You start thinking what the person actually meant. You start analyzing the text. You start over thinking. You start over analyzing.
"What am I doing? It's nothing" .. You close the thread.
You promise yourself you wont open the thread again. It takes all your will power not to. You don't.
But the thread opens up elsewhere. In your mind.
You open the thread again. You try to figure out the story behind the "Okay"
You start building stories where stories don't exist. You get neurotic. You get cynical. You're analyzing, still.
You tell yourself to stop. You don't.
You build a hundred back stories behind a simple "Okay" . You realize how crazy that is. You knew how crazy it was ever since you had started building stories but you didn't stop. You kept on going, you kept on thinking, you kept on analyzing.
Your brain gets saturated. You cant take it anymore. You confront that person.
Fuck.The person goes in either of the two following directions:
1. He follows the same process as you and analyzes. It's an infinite loop. You both get caught in a vicious circle of cynicism and insanity. You both erupt. Exeunt. Fin.
2. That person ridicules you. He erupts. He blows up. He ruptures. He hits the roof. He bursts out. You feel miserable. "Why do I keep doing this?" "But I cant help it" "But why?"
He tells you you're weak. You're unstable. You're not strong. That you're better than this, you have the potential, you have the strength, you have it in you. You know you do. You know you do.
You understand. He is trying to understand. You both understand. You apologize. He apologizes. You're both sorry. He lets go. You don't. You blame yourself, you curse yourself. You blame yourself as the root of all problems, you curse yourself for his unhappiness. You blame and curse yourself for your own unhappiness.
You start thinking again. You start analyzing the roots behind all problems again. You overthink. You overanalyze. You come up with theories.
Each and every cell in your body tenses up. Tissues tense up. Organs tense up.
Wait.
A thought occurs. You open the thread again. You read the message again. You re-read the message. You think a bit. It's not much. At times it might just be an "Okay"
You tell yourself not to think so much. You close the thread.
A thought occurs again. You read the message again. You start thinking what the person actually meant. You start analyzing the text. You start over thinking. You start over analyzing.
"What am I doing? It's nothing" .. You close the thread.
You promise yourself you wont open the thread again. It takes all your will power not to. You don't.
But the thread opens up elsewhere. In your mind.
You open the thread again. You try to figure out the story behind the "Okay"
You start building stories where stories don't exist. You get neurotic. You get cynical. You're analyzing, still.
You tell yourself to stop. You don't.
You build a hundred back stories behind a simple "Okay" . You realize how crazy that is. You knew how crazy it was ever since you had started building stories but you didn't stop. You kept on going, you kept on thinking, you kept on analyzing.
Your brain gets saturated. You cant take it anymore. You confront that person.
Fuck.The person goes in either of the two following directions:
1. He follows the same process as you and analyzes. It's an infinite loop. You both get caught in a vicious circle of cynicism and insanity. You both erupt. Exeunt. Fin.
2. That person ridicules you. He erupts. He blows up. He ruptures. He hits the roof. He bursts out. You feel miserable. "Why do I keep doing this?" "But I cant help it" "But why?"
He tells you you're weak. You're unstable. You're not strong. That you're better than this, you have the potential, you have the strength, you have it in you. You know you do. You know you do.
You understand. He is trying to understand. You both understand. You apologize. He apologizes. You're both sorry. He lets go. You don't. You blame yourself, you curse yourself. You blame yourself as the root of all problems, you curse yourself for his unhappiness. You blame and curse yourself for your own unhappiness.
You start thinking again. You start analyzing the roots behind all problems again. You overthink. You overanalyze. You come up with theories.
Each and every cell in your body tenses up. Tissues tense up. Organs tense up.
And then you dissect them. Every organ, every tissue and every cell till all you're left with is an insignificancy. A void. A nonentity.
"But why?"
Why? Because you care too much. You feel too much. You know too much. You have been through too much. You are attached too much. You are in too deep too much. You are emotionally involved too much. You are invested too much.
Because you love too much.
Why? Because you care too much. You feel too much. You know too much. You have been through too much. You are attached too much. You are in too deep too much. You are emotionally involved too much. You are invested too much.
Because you love too much.
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