The experience that 2014 was.

I opened my blog today and realized the last time I wrote something was back in May and it was such a depressing post that I couldn't even read it again. What I also realized is that after that post, it has only been an upward curve for me. That was probably the lowest point of my year and I would never want to go back there. 
But after those deplorable initial months, I have encountered only strokes of luck and contentment. 

It all started with having the best summer of my life in New York City. It wasn't just a trip abroad, it was a journey of self-exploration and introspection with my whole perspective on things in life being changed. I spent my time there with the best people possible, lived dreams that I've had since I was a little boy and made friends who I've become as thick as blood with. I came back a changed person and a much happier person. NYC is not just a city, it's an experience.
And this year, has only been about experiences. 

That's what I learnt from my summer and that is how I strived to spend my year ahead. 
Experiences.

2014 was all about new experiences. I have had such brilliant experiences this year and this is why I feel so alive because I've lived so many times this year. 

Once you let go of something or someone that's been holding you back and making you unhappy no matter how much you love it, it only gets better. I finally let go of something that had been holding me back and keeping me down and miserable and I have only felt better and happier. 

Experiences. 
The experience of having flings and not losing yourself in someone for a change, the experience of meeting people you never thought would become so important in your life but they do, the experience of eating as much as I want without caring about getting fat, the experience of travelling with your friends and creating memories that you'd never forget, the experience of becoming an uncle to your sister's daughter, the experience of finding someone who you're so comfortable with, the experience of attending concerts of artists you are crazy about and living the dream. The experience of life.

Experiences.
We're always holding ourselves back from going out and experiencing what we've always wanted to do. Being careful, being cautious. And then, when you look in retrospect, you are filled with only regrets. 
What could've been of your year had you not held yourself back. What memories you could've had if only you'd said Yes instead of No. How impulsive decisions can lead to the entire course of your life changing. 

I don't like getting philosophical but it's true when they say life begins when you leave your comfort zone. 
I have had such a brilliant year. I have had the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. It's not just been a perfectly upward curve either, there have been a few bumps but isn't that all supposed to be a part of the experience as well?

Thank you, 2014. You have taught me a lot, made me mature a lot, made me go back in time a lot, made me cry & laugh a lot, made me love a lot and made me live a lot.

You were one dazzling experience. 
2015? Bring it on. 

Hullo, 2011. Sorry for the MIA.

I haven't posted anything since October. That's a long, long time. I can't say I was supremely busy but yes, I've been busy.

A lot of things happened in these three months of interlude.

My sister got married, I went to Phuket in Thailand and Kuala Lumpur, I turned 16, I attended a hell lot of parties and a lot of stuff.

I could've posted.. but that feeling I used to get when I used to write and post was missing. I didn't want to write in something which was not from my heart.

But then, who else but Mahima Jaju to break the block? :)

Anyway, I just finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which completes the Harry Potter series for me and end of a big phase of my life.

All the clues, hints and characters woven from the previous book put forth in the last book, each having their own special place. This is one book that won't last for just a decade, but for ages.

Harry will surely join the likes of Alice, Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer and Frodo.

Aside from that, I turned 16. I don't really feel any different. It feels just the same actually. The only difference being the +1.

I will be entering 11th grade this year. Higher Secondary School. It just seems time passed away too soon.

It feels like just yesterday when I was riding my tricycle in my lawn and now, I'm choosing my subjects which will determine the course of my life.

For once, I wish time would just stop and let me take in this moment.

There are no problems in my life. I am totally carefree. No responsibilities, no tension and no pressure.

All is well.

Just a few more months, and there'll be all these changes.

But well, Change is inevitable, Growth is intentional.

you can either accept it, or you'll be left behind.

My sister was going to be married. It was very, very hard at first.. but then you've got to accept and know that it is in her happiness, that lies your happiness.

It is in your loved one's hands, that lies your happiness.

You give your love with all your heart. You get back more. Warmer.

There's just one life to love.

Dumbledore taught me that.

Little Things That Make Life Worth It.

Imma be a bit philosophical this time and pour some of me heart out.
Okay, so here it goes..
So, I'm always complaining about stuff that I don't have. I get jealous of people who've achieved something I haven't. I have a major inferiority complex. I don't like it when people get ahead of me.
That's a confession and perhaps this might be true for quite a lot of other people as well.

What's wrong is, I don't appreciate little precious things which make my life so perfect.
That smile of gratitude you get from people when you help them out.
The way you blush when someone you like looks at you and greets you.
The times of joy and laughter with your friends. When you get appreciated by your teachers over little things.
When you talk to that special friend of yours for long hours about every little detail about your life.
Much more.

Not that this is the first time I've had this thought risen in my mind. I always promise myself that NOW, I'm going to appreciate every single thing. NOW, I would change and strive towards optimism.
However, it's not that easy.
Well, I guess I'm just a bit of a pessimist in this case but I somewhat think A LOT about all the negative things that I encounter.
I ponder over them for long hours and in turn, it messes up my life.
All these intrusive thoughts further trigger off my obsessive compulsive disorder which makes it very hard for me.
Yeah, I have OCD. If I can't remember a name, an incident, a thought, ANYTHING.. I go paranoid and I HAVE to find out what it is else I shall go crazy.
I have been trying to control it for a long time and I'm getting better at it.
Except for this thing in which I HAVE to touch a switch four times, twice by each index finger.
You might find this funny but trust me, you don't wanna know how hard it is.

Getting back, I wish I could just for once stop thinking about all the things which shouldn't have been and instead, fathom all the wonderful things that have happened to me over all these years.

Today my friend, Mahima returned from China. I was by the staircase waiting for her eagerly.
She didn't arrive so I went to her class to check. She wasn't there either.
I turned back and I saw her pacing towards me and I reciprocated as well.
We met midway and gave each other a prodigious hug and glided in circles, still entwined, for a long time. We talked for hours after that. Later, I had watery eyes and you know what? I felt blithe.
Now THAT is what I'm talking about.
I want to cherish these memories. They make me so happy. So blissful.
Thinking over irrelevant stuff just ruins your mind and soul.

It's these little things that make you smile wide that matter the most and what are required the most for a paradisiac and consummate life. :')